To Have Loved and Lost - Goodbye Ukulele

I realized that I have this strong attachment to my ukulele. Attached to the music and joy it brings, that no one else could ever give. Though I’m not really that good yet, playing it just makes me feel better. Just being able to play songs that I like, hearing it, feeling it, being there in the moment. I become totally present. When I play music, I suddenly forget that there are annoying people in this world. I just become totally oblivious to the outside things. Finally, I thought, I found something that really makes me happy. No human intervention needed.  

When I was once in front of KFC near our flat, I asked some middle-aged men if I could play a song for them. I played “I’m yours”. I was not really expecting they’d give me money in return. I felt happy, I admit. I was just really kind of experimenting if I could really entertain someone with my ukulele. So here comes my future career. 

My friend was driving the scooter down the mountains as we went back home from Batur Volcano in Bali. When suddenly I realized that my ukulele was missing. We couldn't go back anymore. There was a slim chance of finding it as I was not even sure where I left it. It was dark and cold, a long drive back home. I couldn't grasp reality. I was really sad.

Few weeks later, I was in Kuala Lumpur, and it was not easy. From beach life to city, I had a relapse. The reality of the moment would not sink in. I left my heart in Bali. I had become attached to my life in the beach, and being in the city was a total shock for me. I had been here four years ago, and I never really like going back to the same place. But thanks to this cheap flight from Bali, it left me with no choice but to be back here. I was confused as to what to do, no plans or anything.

And worst, no ukulele. My only comfort and refuge, I felt alone.The moment of acceptance came, and I just hope that whoever’s that lucky person who might have gotten my little piece of joy would love it as much as I had loved it. Finally I’m letting it go.

Goodbye my ukulele.

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The Bali High - Psychedelic Mushroom

Someone told me about this magic mushroom in Bali that I should try, the so-called “Trip to the moon”. I tried marijuana before when I was young and they say this one is different. Magic mushroom is legal in Bali, and of course I am very much into experiencing a new state of highness. I saw in Kuta beach that the Balinese guys were mixing it with some shake or soda. So my friend I’m traveling with in Bali bought some shrooms, and then we went home. For the first time, I tried it raw, well I actually had it as rice topping. It was really tasteless and boring. And then I thought that there was really no effect. So I did my usual stuff, finished my dinner, took a bath and drank a little bit of Bintang beer. . .

After 1 hour . . .

I felt the sands everywhere on our bed. So I tried cleaning the sheets, convinced that the bed was really full of sands. I didn't know why simple tasks were kind of hard to do that time. I usually want to organize our stuff in our flat, but I just couldn't do anything. I couldn't sleep on a bed full of sands! I exclaimed. It shouldn't be like that because I was not in the beach. And to my disbelief, the sands wouldn't go away.  I just couldn't stop laughing. Then suddenly it hit me. I had to put some effort to stand up straight, and it felt like I’m going to fall down on my knees. Suddenly everything was just funny for no reason at all.

I’d forgotten about the sands-on-the-bed problem, so I went outside. To my amazement, the trees were so green. I felt my eyes became wide that everything was so sharp. And then I remember saying that things were all in 3D, especially that special tree in front of me. Although, I know that things are really in 3D, or 4D? I don’t know if this psychedelic experience made me smart or just made me more stupid.

Oh yeah, I went from laughing hysterically to crying non-stop until late, brought about by some not so good human experience. I saw myself switching from my normal-abnormal life to bipolar mode. The sudden shift of mood was overwhelming, and I had totally forgotten about the good trippy experience afterwards. And the Bali drama started.

I was a bit cautious about taking too much and that’s why probably I didn't get to the point of extreme psychedelic experience. I got the mild one I guess, accompanied with mood swings and heightened senses. When the colors became so sharp, then for me it was a good experience enough.

You can actually buy the mushrooms everywhere in Kuta, which would cost you around 50000 rupiah for one small pack. But if you look like a local, you could get it for less than that. We are cheapskates, so we found a way to have some for free.  We actually looked for it in some farms and picked it up ourselves, as you could easily find these shrooms growing on cow shit, no kidding! We were the secret mushroom gatherers. So yeah, as we traveled around Bali, we found ourselves looking for some cows and their shit everywhere.

The second time I tried magic mushrooms was when I was in Kuta beach one night. My friend and I were walking along the shore, then we got invited a couple of times by some Balinese guys and some travelers singing and drinking together. However that time, I tried to avoid people as I was under the influence of mushroom, and I was just paranoid that they would notice. I was being funny actually. And then at the same time, I was also afraid that I might do something stupid around these people. So we left the group and walked away.

It was full moon. We just lay down on the sand and watched the clouds moved across the night sky. Everything around me was so amazing. I've never felt so happy, everything was so real. We walked on the soft sand in the dark while the waves crashed against the shore relentlessly. The shore under the full moon was just astonishing to watch as the water swept back and forth, and we could feel the pull of the tide as we tried to escape. That moment was truly unforgettable. It was so beautiful and romantic . . . with or without my psychedelic mushroom . . . .

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A Piece of Heaven

One of the reasons why I went to Bandung was to visit “Kawah Puti” or the Sulfur Lake. A stunning crate lake located 50 km south of Bandung in West Java Indonesia. This is one of the craters of this inactive volcano called Mount Patuha. I learned about this place from my host in Bukitinngi in Sumatra. When I was staying with her, I really had no idea as to what to see in Java. Then she recommended me this lake and showed me some pictures of it. I was amazed. The place looks really interesting for me as I haven’t seen anything like it before. I hitchhiked from Jakarta to Bandung then I was hosted by these nice, young guys in this cool and laid back town called Jatinanggor. I was truly having a good time with my host and his friends from the university. I stayed here for 5 days. Then later on, I felt that I have to visit this "Kawah Puti" on my own because sometimes I just have to be alone to reflect on things. My host was really understanding, and so he took me to the bus station for Bandung early in the morning the next day.

The heavy traffic in Bandung made me itch to hitchhike again. However the small van moved past the traffic finally, and then I arrived quite a bit late in the afternoon. I insisted to take a walk for a few minutes and luckily the people there let me in. And there was no entrance fee, well, not that I know of. I've never felt so free and peaceful. Though I haven’t reached the lake yet, the first kilometer has already a beautiful sight to behold. The surrounding area was heavily forested, it was foggy and I could smell the sulfur along the way. A few vehicles passed by, but most of the time I had the whole road for myself. It was one those unforgettable walks, just me and nature. What more could I ask for.

It was really getting cold. It was four more kilometers to the top, so eventually I had to hitchhike to the crater. Just when I thought that I’m going to walk all the way, a public van with only one person inside stopped in front of me finally. And I asked the driver:

Me: “Boleh saya numpang?”

Driver: “Boleh”

Me: “Boleh saya numpang?”

Driver: “Boleh”

….

I was waiting for a yes, ya or no, and then l realized later what “Boleh” means. So he was like saying, “Yes you can!” I felt really stupid. It was that very funny moment, and the Indonesians I met just laughed their hearts out when they heard this story.

When I arrived, I didn't see any foreigners or white people around here, probably because they were all flocking in Bali. So almost all the signs are written in Bahasa, and as much as I want to get to know more about the place that time, I couldn't understand all the information posted at the entrance. It was pretty understandable as I saw that most of the visitors are just locals.

I was blown away. Nature could really be this amazing. What my host in Bukitinggi told me was true. It was really like heaven on earth, one could go snorkeling in search for angels underneath. The lake was whitish green with the yellow sulfur mud around it. It was misty and cold, a magical place indeed. It was really chilly and I could barely stay in one place. So I walked around and saw a couple having their prenup photoshoot somewhere away from the crowd, and I wouldn't be surprised. I think that this is a unique place to have a mystical theme for a wedding, and how romantic is that!

I really cherished my time here, it was just perfect solitude. It was my “now” back then. That time I was really present. But it became my past now, and I’m remembering it for my own pleasure. You know those times when you are happy even though you are alone. And it would be even better if you are in a beautiful place, and that will be 100% pure happiness. I could imagine many things in this place, or even create my own dreams and alter reality. I could see myself wasting my time here, even if I choked to death by sulfur. I wouldn't mind. Then I’d become the angel underneath, and I’ll say “this is my own piece of heaven”.

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Lost and Found

As Albert Einstein said, we have to decide whether we live in a friendly or hostile universe. I choose the friendly universe. When I decided to travel, I trust that the universe is kind and that it will provide. A few years back, I couldn’t go anywhere on my own because I just couldn't trust anyone. I guess I was just one of those people trapped in fear. Then suddenly I woke up from this long dream. I feel different. I still don’t know what exactly happened, but it felt like yesterday I was still in this small box.  Then all of a sudden a small portal just opened in front of me. Oh this could be the bright side. I knew that there must be something better on the other side. The unknown is quite scary, but it always makes me curious. And so I went in.

I remember when I was hitchhiking in Sumatra, I got dropped somewhere in Pekanbaru city coming from Dumai. It was quite late in the afternoon and I was confused as to what to do. I didn't know if I am going to stay in the city or just head on straight to this small town called Bukitinggi. So I tried hitchhiking again, but it was kind of difficult to wait for a ride in this big city.  Just when I was about to leave, a car stopped in front of me. A young local guy asked me where I was going, and I was lucky that he was heading to the same direction. This was how I met Billie.

I was in his car for another 6 hours, but then I never felt bored or tired with him. I've seen the most beautiful scenery in west Sumatra along the way. We exchanged stories and found ourselves laughing about stuff. He was really a funny guy, and very determined to practice his English. He was so nice enough to drop me right in front of my host’s house late that night. We said goodbye to each other then he continued his journey to this island in Padang.

Next morning I realized that my wallet was missing, so I panicked. All my bank cards were there. I searched my host’s place and I couldn't find it. Until I realized that I might have left it in Billie’s car. I called him and there was no answer. I really didn't have any money or anything with me. I was thinking that Billie might be spending some time in the island with his friend, and I’m worried that my wallet might not be in his car too. I was trying to think where I might have left it, then I thought of this small restaurant where we ate somewhere in the town the other night. But I was hoping that I didn't leave it there as there was a slim chance of getting it back.  I couldn't travel anywhere as I was just really frustrated about my negligence.

I called Billie again that afternoon and he answered. To my relief, he told me that I left my wallet in his car. And he was willing to drop it in my host’s place on his way back home. And he did it. I met him again the next day and he returned my wallet. I was really happy and grateful that there’s still someone like Billie in this world. I couldn't imagine all the hassles of getting new bank cards due to my carelessness. It was the nicest thing a person had ever done to me. I will always be thankful for that.

I always trust in the kindness of the universe. I know that it’s a bit challenging to be positive at all times considering that there are worse things happening around us, and it makes us lose faith in humanity. As I move around and travel more, I learned that things will always work out just fine in the end. I met people along the way, and It's proven that it’s still part of human nature to help one another. Everywhere I went, I experienced the true kindness of people. I remembered that a few months ago, I was so worried about the things that will happen today. But then everything turned out ok eventually however difficult things could be from the start. In this lifetime I think I had already overcome the worst situations and passed through various obstacles. By now I had gotten used to this. My immunity level is so high I couldn't feel anything anymore. I will always believe in what Anthony de Mello said, “Though everything is a mess, all is well”. So there is no sense in worrying about the future or what’s going to happen. It comes soon enough. And if things didn't turn out as expected, then we just have to learn from the experience and move on.

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Hitchin' A Ride in Sumatra

I remember when I first tried hitchhiking some four years ago in Thailand, I was like “what the hell are we doing?” Can we just take a bus or something, I was scared, shy and it felt a little weird. I've seen hitchhiking in some movies but I never thought it’s possible in real life. Then I went back home and tried it again, and again and again. And so now, this is I how travel. 

Before I left Philippines, I was doing some research about hitchhiking in Indonesia. I read in some Couchsurfing group about the people who were successful in doing it. As I arrived in Sumatra, I've heard from locals about the dangers of traveling here. I know that danger is everywhere, but who cares now. I know now how to trust my instincts and decide quickly should danger arise.  I've probably learned this skill when I was still living in my city. I got used to anticipating dangers especially when I was commuting at night in Manila. Sometimes I felt more unsafe in my own city than in any other place in this world.

I’m quite lucky that my host in Dumai in North Sumatra is very much familiar with this kind of travel. He had already hosted a lot of travelers from all over the world who hitchhiked in Indonesia. Hearing this, I got excited. That time I couldn't wait to get out of Riau and head to Padang. As you know, most of the locals are not open to this kind of traveling, and expect them to bombard you with warnings until you get so scared you won’t do it anymore. I guess I got so immune to this, although sometimes I could make use of some precautions here and then. I got to understand that it’s normal for them to worry, especially when they are not so used to a foreign woman traveling alone and hitchhiking. But of course I don’t let all their warnings stop me from traveling this way. It also pays to be extra careful sometimes, and it's totally normal to protect your life in every chance that you have. So in the end, I was successful in hitchhiking in Indonesia. And now my memory is loaded with amazing experiences with people I met on the road. 

My host dropped me in the middle of the hazy highway somewhere in Dumai where I could easily get a ride. Riau was full of smoke due to forest fires, a big issue in Sumatra that time. It was like that scene in Silent Hill. Only it was not scary, it was a health hazard and it was very annoying. It was kind of hard to look around as my eyes hurt due to the haze. It was really bad. It was good that I didn't have to wait for a long time to get a ride. 

My favorite one was when I was in a coffee truck. I was lucky that the driver,  this nice old guy could speak a little bit of English, so we could understand each other a little bit. He dropped me somewhere in Pekanbaru, and then he gave me some coffee. He just snatched some packs of local instant coffee at the back of his truck and handed it to me, just like that. It was really funny!

My advantage I guess is that I look like a local here. So the car and truck drivers who passed by were just curious as to what this Indonesian woman doing on the side of the highway, alone with all her luggage and stuff. And so they stopped and asked me as to where I was going, in Bahasa of course.

My hitchhiking trip in Sumatra is really unforgettable. I've met a lot of amazing people along the way. And I was able to learn a little bit of Bahasa too, thanks to my English teacher host in Dumai. I lost the list that he wrote for me, but I've had it all memorized as I've used all it most of the time during my travel here. So I’m gonna end this post with some useful phrases you can use for hitchhiking in Indonesia.

Boleh saya numpang? – May I get a free ride?

Saya turun disini – I get off here

Saya numpang saja – I hitchhike only / free ride only

Mau kemana? – Where are you going?

Saya mau ke “Padang” (Name of a city in Sumatra) – I go to Padang

Terima kasih – Thank you

Hati-hati – Take care

Utama ke? – Highway to?

Tidak mengerti – I don’t understand

Sebelum “Padang”, ok – Before “Padang”, ok.

Sesudah “Padang”, ok – After “Padang”, ok.

Saya tidak punya uang – I don’t have much money.

Dimana saya? – Where am I?

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